“Rachel, this is Lance. Lance, meet Rachel, my office mate.”
“Nice to meet you, Lance!”
“Glad to see you, Rachel.”
“Lance, your name sounds familiar…Where did I hear your name? Have we met somewhere?” Rachel said.
“I’m sorry but…” I see Lance’s face crumpling into confusion.
“OH. MY. GOSH. YOU’RE LANCE?!” Rachel’s head kept turning from Lance to me and from me to Lance.
“My gosh! How did you two not end up together?! You two look so perr—“
“Rachel,” I called out her name in a louder voice with a hint of shut-your-mouth-Rachel. “Lance is my friend, and he’s already taken.”
“Don’t mind her, Lance. She gets excited when I introduce guys to her.”
. . . . .
“Andie, what did Rachel mean this afternoon?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Come on, Andie. This ‘How did we two not end up together?’ What did you tell her? Does she know me?”
“Look Lance, there’s nothing serious about it. Don’t put any meaning on it. As what I already told you, it excites her when she learns I’m seeing guys.”
“Well, I have not had any boyfriend for quite a long time.”
“I don’t know. I just don’t feel like having one since Alex.”
“Are you still not over him? I heard he’s still single.”
. . . . .
He nudged me and I looked at him only to find out the mischievous smile on his face.
“Damn Lance! Stop it! I am over him ages ago! I don’t care whether he’s single, engaged, married or divorced! How could you say that to me?!”
“I’m sorry! Don’t overreact, Andie!”
“I am not overreacting. I can’t believe you are that insensitive.”
“What? What has insensitivity got to do with this?!”
“You know I am not that shallow to not be over a man I was romantically involved when I was in college. Why are you expecting me to feel the same way about a man, who replaced me with a sexy chick, after so many years! I can’t believe this!”
“You are overreacting, Andie,” he pointed out.
“Okay, I’m sorry,” Lance gently said, breaking the silence. “But…I’m curious. Why have you not had any boyfriend until now? Are you now a manhater?”
. . . . .
She looks at me with burning eyes.
“Okay, just kidding. But seriously, why?”
“I don’t know, Lance. I feel stuck…”
“Not stuck where. Stuck with this person.”
“Oh. Now, this is interesting.”
“It is not, Lance.”
“Really? Well, I am interested.”
“It is not. It’s awful. I regret not taking the chance to be with him. I thought there would still be chances, but they never came, even when I was already decided to finally grab one.”
“Lance, it is one of my greatest regrets in life. I missed to take the chance, and now I keep on going back to him. I never wanted someone so badly in my life, but this man, I barely go through a week without wishing I could have another chance with him.”
“Why don’t you just tell him what you feel? You’ll never know how it would turn out if you don’t try.”
“He’s already in love with someone, Lance. It would just be embarassing to tell him these.”
“Do you really think telling him these things would help you move on with your life?”
“I don’t know Lance. It won’t make any difference, honestly. It would probably devastate me, instead. I think I could cope up with just knowing he’s happy. And in love.”
“You do have the chance, Andie. Just tell him.”
“Lance, if you were in my situation, would you just say these to a person who is already committed into loving a significant other?”
“See? No, you won’t do it. It will just complicate things. I don’t want that. If he’s happy now, why would I ruin it for the sake of my own feelings? I am not that selfish.”
“Can you not let go of him?”
“Even if I can, Lance…I don’t want to. You see, that’s the problem. I want to cling onto him so much. It sounds pathetic, but I want to wait for him…He’s the best man I have ever met in my life.”
“Do I know him?”
“Goodnight Lance. It’s really great to catch up with you. See you when I see you again. Please take care!”
“Could we meet again for a few more times before I leave?”
“Call me whenever you want.”
. . . . .
I have been staring on my phone for hours that my eyes are starting to hurt now. I have been tossing around the hotel bed countless times deciding whether to call Andie or not. What would I tell her? That it was great to see her again? That I wished we had more time? That I missed her so much? That I want to see her again tomorrow, the next day, every day until I leave this country again?
I know it’s wrong…but this is Andie…
This is Andie.
Why is my stomach flipping endlessly just thinking about her now? I still get shivers.