I feel like an old soul for being a sucker for jazz. I looked up in the web the definition of the idiom, sucker for, and was not disappointed about it. The Free Dictionary defines it as “someone who is prejudiced in favor of someone or something; someone who is drawn to someone or something.” But I like the Longman‘s definition of it better: “to like someone or something very much, especially so that you cannot refuse them.” I am seriously and deeply drawn to jazz. And I totally cannot refuse it. When I hear jazz playing, I am instantly taken away into a giddily happy mood. I would imagine myself dancing with a partner, just like elderly couples. I think jazz makes the “romantic” side of me alive, as if it is saying to me, “Don’t despise yourself for being romantic.”
What I love about jazz too, is that it keeps me focused. It rewires my attention and puts my priorities and responsibilities in close view. My mind gradually stops to wander and gets hyped up into finishing the task ahead of me. I guess, jazz is home for me. Which is a very important thing for me — the awareness that I am at home in whatever I am doing in my life, especially in my day-to-day endeavors.
Like today, I woke up feeling awful and late in the day. I was practically dragging myself to do my laundry (because I have such hatred on this particular household chore). By the time the laundry was done, my mind was all jumbled up and was starting to fall in a spiral because I was already panicking on the amount of lessons I haven’t yet started studying. For the second time around this day, I dragged myself into my desk and opened Spotify with hopes that I could get started with my readings with the help of a good music. And yes, oh yes, jazz saved the day.
Each day might not turn out to be exactly as I want it to be. Days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months, and nothing happens the way I want them to be. But it’s fine. It’s fine because it teaches me to keep on going even if I have tons of work to do. I strive not to tire myself anymore with my anxieties about the unknown future, because who knows how something completely unexpected will happen again. It could be something that would turn my situation right side-up. Or maybe not. Because it could be something else that would change my attitude about the situation instead. However tomorrow greets me is beyond my control. The only thing that I can control in my ever-changing life is how I act on every situation I am at. Today is a good day. Tomorrow will be a good one too. Today is God’s victory in my life. Tomorrow is still Him continuing the work He has started on me.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:34 NKJV)
Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ… (Philippians 1:6 NKJV)
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